Alternate Title: I’m a Planner.
Today we had an appointment with the fertility clinic to continue our planning process. This one can be considered a regroup with the doctor (since we started almost a year ago, but decided to wait until this year to actually begin IVF). We’re scheduled to begin IVF in September. Before that, S needs his labs & sperm retrieval done. The frozen sperm need to be shipped to the fertility clinic, and then my period needs to begin. Given the irregularity of my period, it could be around early to mid-September. Hopefully stars align.
The clinic doctors, nurses, and staff are so friendly and welcoming. They always treat you as a priority. During meetings, however, I have found myself to be slightly tense due to the amount of information I’m absorbing. But that is entirely my own doing and not the fault of the doctor or anyone. I’m a planner, so hearing about all of the things I cannot control is rough on me (or as S says, “It must be pretty hard to hear for a control freak). Yes, yes. Take away: the doctors and everyone are great. S also gets a good feeling there and finds it welcoming, calm, and everyone to be knowledgeable.
We went over the IVF overview today. In short: period starts. Call on Day 1. Begin 2 weeks of birth control. Then 10-14 days of medications via injections. Then egg retrieval. Fertilization of eggs with sperm. Then embryo implantation. That’s the general flow of things (pun sort of intended).
We discussed why using only one embryo at a time is better than two (I’m young, so all should be well, and two babies has exponentially more risks for all involved). So, no twins, even though S and I discussed it as a possibility and thought it could be a good thing. We went over the fact that it might not be successful the first time around, though the doctor predicts a 50% success rate for me (which is pretty good). But, the embryos will be frozen so the whole medication + retrieval would not be required again. That was good to hear. Meaning, if we have to try again, it will be much easier of a process. With all of that said, the doctor said it is important to be relaxed, and not stressed, and to support each other and manage expectations. Thus, I need to readjust my thinking in terms of timeline. It’s good to start practicing that now before September.
I’ve really shied away from reading too many blogs about IVF, because it seems as though too many of them talk about the hardships and just how long and trying of a process it can be. While I understand that and my heart goes out to those who are dealing with it, I am not ready to read about the multiple tries and years. But I do want to give you a big hug if you’re dealing with it. I’m sure that’s understandable. For now, I’m working on managing expectations and not storing stress. And I’m hoping my good health and age will carry us through successfully, as well as S’s quality sperm. And rather than plan for the worst, we’re being optimistic (with some realism thrown in). Make sense?
Other issues to discuss: if we could, would we choose boy or girl? Or not interfere with that part of science? First, we’d choose healthy baby. Of course. Then, it depends. I would like a boy + a girl, but if I could only choose one, I’d probably choose girl. Women want girls. Men want boys. Generally speaking, and at least one of each. At least, that’s how S and I feel. He has a son and a daughter already, so it’s less of an issue. Maybe only choose the sex of baby number 2. Ha. It’s a trivial thing, really, but a conversation topic and it’s scientifically possible, though probably one that some people think shouldn’t be allowed. I’m sure we’ll just end up praying for a healthy baby, and be overjoyed with one. A boy first would be great – I always wanted an older brother, not a younger brother. So maybe I could have a boy and then a girl. Who knows. Or, since my mother thought she’d have all boys, I’ll have all boys. Thanks, Mom. Hope you can help me wrangle boys!
Anyway, it’s a good idea to discuss aspects like that, as opposed to only the science: it might work / it might not work on the first time and such stressful things. We mix it up. We’re also talking about how we’d fit a baby in our tiny condo, fun stuff like that.