This blog is due for an update. I started sharing most everything with my best friend, which changed my recordation method for this process. I’ll do a recap up to present day.
IVF Cycle 1: Fresh Day 5 Transfer, October 9: I was excited for the transfer. Finally! It was kind of surreal. But emotional. We got home and I just got in bed and cried a bit. So many feelings, and I didn’t know how or what to feel. We went to watch football with friends that day, which was at least a distraction.
10 day wait: I didn’t really feel anything at all, but I had to eat and drink as if I were pregnant. That was so weird. I spent a lot of time trying to think good thoughts and looked up baby cribs and what not. I figured all the good feelings would help me to stay positive.
October 19: First beta blood test: Again, I was excited for this day to come. I hadn’t taken any home pregnancy tests because the nurses told me not to. Blood test appointments are so easy and quick. Hours went by, no call. I was so nervous, like a taking an exam or running a race. Finally, they called. I could tell by her voice. Negative. I was so sad, so much sadder than I expected. And predictably, that day I got my period (spotting, full on the next day). I kept myself together at work and through a networking event after work, but cried when I got home (and okay, before the event). I just needed to be sad about it, even though I knew I would be okay. I cried a bit before falling asleep, too.
As S likes to put it, “It’s not a sprint; it’s a marathon.” And my favorite Oiselle inspiration: “There is no secret. Keep Going.” So we decided to keep going, to give it another try. It’s not uncommon that the first try doesn’t work. In my theory, it probably doesn’t work on the first try because it freaks out the body. Egg retrieval! Then transfer! What in the???