40 weeks, 6 days

40 weeks, 6 days

40 weeks, 6 days. August 4, 2017.

Another day, not much to report. I woke up with some period-like cramping, but nothing really painful. My belly remains tight most of the time (Braxton Hicks, I assume). Potential TMI, but this is new (as in the past couple of days): I feel semi-constipated. Like I want to go, and then I cannot. And it doesn’t seem to matter how much water I drink. It is super annoying. I did google this, of course, and it could be a sign of labor.

Yesterday S and I were in the field for my work site visits, which was so much fun. A nice road trip on a gorgeous sunny day. It was so fun to work together and to have someone to discuss resources with on my travels, as opposed to no one or waiting until I got home. Now I have reports to write, so baby will probably interrupt them. Ha. Or not. We’ll see.

My doctor’s appointment is at 2pm for the non-stress test and then a regular appointment to follow. We have to talk about how long they’ll let me go and I need to voice my concern about getting too close to 42 weeks, for safety/health reasons. I have acupuncture at 5pm today. Granted, more money, but it really helped me this week, emotionally, so it’s worth it to me for another visit or two. Too bad that isn’t covered under health insurance.

40 weeks, 4 days

40 weeks, 4 days

40 weeks, 4 days. August 2, 2017.

Clearly, I was wrong about the August 1 birthday. I’m going to be pregnant forever, it seems. I’ve resigned myself to this fate. It would be nice if baby would arrive before next week, but she seems to have her own set schedule already. She’d better be cute! No changes to report. Every morning I wake up and feel the same.

I went to acupuncture yesterday, and that helped with my recent anxiety. It’s part therapy, which I needed yesterday. She told me that it’s okay to feel however I feel: crabby, scared, anxious, whatever it may be. It’s good to acknowledge those feelings and close up my feelings. I was able to tell her all of my fears and annoyances, without fear of judgment. The combination of getting it all out there and the actual acupuncture really helped me to calm down. Also, I only worked a half day yesterday, which just felt sort of freeing. She reminded me that if I’m worried, I can go in and see the doctor. I can be demanding. And in the hospital, I can be demanding (for example: no residents doing the stitching or whatever might be required). I talked to S about it all, and he is ready to take charge and keep on top of things.

Still, we’re both just waiting! At least I have some work to do at work. Tomorrow I’ve scheduled a field visit, assuming I feel the same in the morning, and S is going to come with me, just in case. My boss is okay with that plan. It should be a fun day! Friday I’m taking a half day because I have my non-stress test in the afternoon, and then acupuncture again. Acupuncture is supposed to help give baby a nudge if she’s ready, but not if she’s not. And hopefully it will help avoid artificial induction, or whatever you want to call it.

The upside of being overdue: it will feel like longer maternity leave and insurance coverage, and I make more money while waiting. That definitely helps with the savings account. And we’re enjoying these sunny, hot evenings (75-85 degrees F) for Frisbee and barbecue time.

So… still here, still pregnant, but less crabby. Still impatient, but trying to chill. I’ve been reading positive affirmations about birth, hoping to convince baby to make her way into the world. Baby has shifted away from my sciatic nerve, which makes a world of difference in my mood as it’s less painful to get around. Thank goodness.

40 weeks, 2 days

40 weeks, 2 days

40 weeks, 2 days. July 31, 2017.

Still pregnant. I’m trying to be calm and relaxed, but it’s hard to think about anything else. I’m afraid of being too overdue for a few reasons: 1) I don’t want to be induced; 2) I don’t want baby to be too big; 3) I don’t want to get close to 42 weeks because there are more risks to baby; and 4) I don’t want to be super crabby for 2 weeks.

I understand that baby will come when baby wants, but what if she’s just too lazy!? And shouldn’t my dates be accurate because of IVF? I’m annoyed. And I’m annoyed that everyone was right about first babies being late. I’m also a bit  jealous of everyone around me who has had her baby already. I mean, I’m happy for everyone; I’m just jealous. Also, I’m tired of being so heavy and it hurting to walk. It’s also hard to plan out work to do when I have no idea when I’ll be leaving. Why is baby taking so long? Why isn’t she ready yet? Am I doing something wrong? And why doesn’t the doctor want to see me until Friday? Ugh. I’m just done being pregnant. I want baby to arrive so I know she’s healthy.

Sigh. So, that’s where I am. I’m still working so I can at least make some money, though my billable ratio isn’t great right now. But, another paycheck is good. And I enjoy eating lots of ice cream. However, I’m beyond the “cute pregnant” phase now. Now I just see fat, other than the baby belly.

Alright, that’s all my complaining. S is being very good about it and helping to keep me calm. Yesterday we went to the beach (well, lakeshore) and played frisbee in the water and barbecued. He said he likes these days of just waiting, doing nothing, and we’ll look back on it fondly. Perhaps he’s right, but I’m still impatient.

Tomorrow morning I have acupuncture, so maybe that will move things along. My guess was August 1 and I did say I thought she’d be a late baby, but for some reason I’m still annoyed. My mom said to calm down so I don’t end up with a crabby baby. I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s probably worth considering.

Overall, I guess I feel fine. I mean, what’s fine these days anyway? Various body parts hurt. I sometimes feel some uterus cramping, but nothing long and nothing painful. Braxton Hicks do not hurt. The only new sign of something is the occasional sharp pain in my vagina. It happened a few times yesterday, but that’s it. We also did a lot of walking Saturday & Sunday (well, it’s relative. About 3 miles of walking each day). My sciatic nerve hurts, but not as much today.

Sigh. I know baby will be here soon and in the grand scheme of things, a day or a week is nothing. But that doesn’t change how I feel right now.

And a profile image so you can see just how pregnant I am, taken yesterday at 40 weeks, 1 day. 

39 weeks, 6 days

39 weeks, 6 days

39 weeks, 6 days. July 28, 2017.

Might as well round out the week with another post. Dearest baby, you have one day until your due date, which seems like a perfectly fine day to arrive. I understand you are very comfortable in there, but I promise I’ll make things comfortable for you on the outside. We are very anxious to meet you, and now you’ve had your full 40 weeks (tomorrow) to get as smart and as developed as you need. Time to come meet the world. Also, I’m hoping you don’t get too big in there. While I care only about a healthy baby, I was hoping for a small baby. Somewhere in the 7lb range seems fine. I know you don’t care, baby, and my mom says get used to it because kids will never do what you want, but I can hope!

No signs of you coming, however. Last night I bought a yoga ball to bounce (lightly) on and to rock my hips, in hopes of relieving some sciatic nerve pain. No luck on that, but it was comfortable to hang out on the ball for a while. Then as we were going to bed last night, the top of my uterus hurt and I had a terrible headache. Both have faded. I’ve had heartburn quite noticeably lately. Thank goodness for Tums. Once in a while I get what I guess people call is “lightening crotch” (though that’s a ridiculous term), but it goes away. So, maybe I’ll just go into labor spontaneously.

Today would be my last day, but not if baby doesn’t want to arrive until next week. I have acupuncture scheduled for Tuesday morning to help move things along if needed. I’m really trying to be patient. I wish I could go for a long walk! Tonight after work we’re heading to the park to go swimming and bbq. Hopefully swimming will relieve some sciatic nerve pain, even temporarily.

Baby is still moving a lot, though at this point it’s pretty much her feet. She likes to stick her feet into the right side of my belly. I keep telling her she cannot get out that way!  Really, any day in July would be fine. Saturday, Sunday, Monday. My grandmother died July 31, 2010, so perhaps that is the day baby girl will make her arrival. Maybe Grandma can give her a little nudge.

We haven’t told my side of the family baby’s name yet. I said they can know when she’s born. However, I did say her middle name will be Kathryn. I might be repeating myself, but it’s for my mom (her middle name), S’s mom, and me (a variation of my name).

I’m worried about going too long overdue, being induced, and a giant baby. I understand that I cannot control any of this, but that doesn’t quite change my worry. I know I won’t be pregnant much longer, but it feels like it!! And for the love of God, people need to stop telling me that they were two weeks overdue with their babies. It is NOT helpful. Nor does it make me feel any better.

So, we’ll see. All “hurry up, baby” vibes welcome! Who knows. Tomorrow? Next week? We love you baby. We want to snuggle you on the outside!

39 weeks, 5 days

39 weeks, 5 days

39 weeks, 5 days. July 27, 2017.

Nothing exciting at the doctor today. She did check my cervix. Zero dilation, though she said it’s short and softening. However, all of this means nothing as baby could come tomorrow or next week (or the week after…hold me). Who knows. I’m hoping my daughter is a perfectionist, like me, and wants to arrive on the exact date. You know, like using every minute possible to study for a test or train for a race. Hopefully she is not too much of a procrastinator! I told her she has 2 more days; being on time is perfect. Being late is no fun. Hahaha.

I need to adjust my mindset, however, in case baby girl is very late. Once the calendar rolls into August, it’s going to feel late. If only I could walk like a normal (pregnant) person. Stupid sciatic nerve. Yet, all of this is temporary. I need to stop complaining because I’ve had an easy pregnancy and time will pass, as it always does. Still, I don’t want to gain more weight and I don’t want baby to grow to be a giant baby! I’m impatient and anxious to meet baby, more than I am nervous. It’s seem surreal that I’ll have a baby soon.

I should use this time to wrap up any random tasks I have or things on my non-work to do list. I guess I was assuming baby would come early. Oh well. All that matters is that she’s healthy and I’m healthy. Maybe this will help my mindset.

The doctor said next week they’ll do a non-stress test and an ultrasound to make sure everything is okay. Also, I don’t want to be induced. My mom said it’s horrible (she was induced with the youngest, wherein she decided she was done having kids).

Well, it seems like I’ll be writing every day or every day now, just as I did in the beginning. Of course, in the beginning, I wanted the days to pass. Now I just want baby to get here. Sort of different, but it does help with the sanity level.

39 weeks, 4 days

39 weeks, 4 days

39 weeks, 4 days. July 26, 2017.

Baby is definitely wearing out her welcome in my uterus! I’m just uncomfortable. If I could walk without pain, that might be different. Then I’d just spend my evenings walking. However, my sciatic nerve issue is unrelenting, so walking isn’t really an option. It’s truly painful. Even trying to get in/out of bed and get comfortable can be painful.

And between having zero work to do at work and really nothing to do at home, I’m just waiting. I don’t want to rush baby; I’m afraid of being overdue (or really overdue) and needing to be induced. I’m not sure what I’ll do at work if I have to wait another 1-2 weeks. I don’t want to take that time off – it’s not like I can enjoy summertime at this stage, so having time off wouldn’t really be fun. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow morning, so hopefully that will bring some good news. I’ll let her check me for dilation tomorrow.

Saturday is 40 weeks. I shouldn’t complain until then. Or Monday, perhaps. After that, I’m going to get a little antsy. I have acupuncture scheduled for Monday, but I’m hoping baby will arrive before then so I can save my money. I keep hoping that I’ll just wake up in the morning with contractions!

So, anyway, baby, if you could hurry it along, that’d be great. We’re anxious to meet you! xoxo.

38 weeks, 2 days
39 weeks, 4 days.
39 weeks, 2 days

39 weeks, 2 days

39 weeks, 2 days. July 24, 2017.

Baby is still quite comfortable. I, on the other hand, am not. Mostly it’s due to the sciatic nerve, which will not stretch and loosen no matter what I do. It makes walking particularly difficult and painful and slow, and I look extra pregnant. Pretty much nothing is comfortable these days. I wake up every 2 hours at night (good practice, I know) and then I am actually disappointed when it’s 2am and I have to figure out how to get comfortable again to fall back asleep. Yup, super pregnant!

Nothing to report, really. No signs of baby’s arrival. Randomly, I have some stomach pains, and I have lots of long, BH, but nothing that screams “baby is coming!” Come on kid, any day now! Please don’t make me more than a few days overdue. Maybe it’s just me, but I think knowing the exact dates for IVF should make my due date more accurate than others. Maybe a lot of people just have inaccurate due dates? That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. If we didn’t have to do IVF, I probably wouldn’t have any idea as to when baby was conceived.

Saturday we went on a day trip and because we’d be a few hours away we brought the car seat and hospital bags just in case. They were not needed, obviously. At least they are in my car now. It was nice to drive around on a sunny day, even if I couldn’t do much walking. It’s very annoying not being mobile! Saturday night-Sunday morning we slept 12 hours. No joke. Apparently we were both very tired – S from a stressful week, and me from lugging around this pumpkin of a belly! And then I took a nap on Sunday afternoon. M and her boyfriend came over for a barbecue at the waterfront on Sunday evening, which was lots of fun. But, after some walking, I could barely put any weight on the right side of my body. Ouch.

Today, work hosted a potluck baby brunch for me, which was quite sweet. There is a range of guesses to baby’s due date. I’ll add the photo. And a few people gave us presents – how thoughtful! Although I tire of the cubicle life, the company and the people are superb and I never have complaints about either. (And the medical benefits are excellent.)

What’s left to do? Rest, I suppose. Keep stretching. And wrap up a few things at work. I read that the end of pregnancy is supposed to be very uncomfortable so your body just wants to go into labor and you’re not afraid anymore. Ha, I believe it! I wish baby would arrive sometime this week, because that would make it easier for my work schedule. But, I know that’s not how it works. We’ll see if this kid is a planner or not. I joked that she just wanted to have one more party (the baby brunch). Who doesn’t love a party?